I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
