So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
