i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
