fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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