Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
