kristin has been a bad kristin
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
