and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
