too bad you live with your parents still
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
