when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
