Duck Duck Cougar?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
