I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
