Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
