I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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