I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I want her autograph on my taint
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
