Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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