you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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