You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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