South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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