I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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