Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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