how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
