Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
