at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
