I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
