I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
