the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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