No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
