My entire life is one complicated drinking game
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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