just survived the first fart of the relationship.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
