I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
