You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
