Too much gin, very little bucket
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize