So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
