glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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