How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
