Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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