Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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