i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She bit a glass in half.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
