That's intense
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
