oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
