I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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