I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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