My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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