Your face is a jimmy john
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
