Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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