I only kidnapped one of them. chill
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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