i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
