She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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