I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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