You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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