Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
